···

ADHD

Task Avoidance

What's really behind the avoidance

Task avoidance is what happens when you know exactly what needs doing — and do literally anything else instead. Cleaning, scrolling, reorganizing your desktop, starting a different project. It's not laziness. Something between you and the thing is creating a wall, and pushing harder against it usually doesn't help.

Anything but the Task

Avoidance rarely looks the same from the outside as it feels on the inside.

Productive Avoidance

You clean the entire kitchen instead of starting the one thing that matters. You organize files, answer old emails, do anything that feels productive enough to justify not doing the real work. It looks like working. It's actually hiding.

The Guilt Loop

Avoid the thing, feel guilty. Guilt makes it feel heavier. Heavier weight, more avoidance. More avoidance, more guilt. The loop tightens every day until the guilt itself becomes the biggest obstacle — not the task at all.

Crisis Mode Kicks In

Nothing happens until the deadline is breathing down your neck. Then suddenly, panic creates the energy that willpower never could. You get it done — but at a cost. And the cycle starts again with the next item on the list.

Pretending It Doesn't Exist

If you don't look at it, it's not there. The email stays unopened. The document stays minimized. Out of sight, what's waiting doesn't trigger the uncomfortable feeling — until it comes back bigger and more urgent.

If that cycle keeps repeating, it can help to stop and look at what's actually behind the avoidance. Sometimes just naming it is enough to figure out what's in the way.

What Task Avoidance Hides

Task avoidance usually isn't about the work itself — it's about what the work triggers.

Unclear Next Step

"Work on the project" isn't actionable. Without a clear first step, nothing starts.

Feels Too Big

Seeing all the steps at once creates overwhelm that freezes everything.

Emotional Weight

Dread, fear of failure, boredom — the feeling is what's being avoided.

Already Depleted

Sometimes avoidance just means there's no capacity left. Not resistance — exhaustion.

When the avoidance is consistent across many tasks — not just the hard ones — it often points to something deeper. That pattern can feel like knowing what to do but not being able to do it.

When Knowing Isn't Doing

The task you're avoiding might not be as hard as the feeling it brings up. Sometimes the most helpful step is to name what's underneath the avoidance before trying to push through it.

Start Small, Start Messy

The goal isn't to overcome the resistance with force. It's to make starting feel safe and small enough to actually happen.

Make It Tiny

"Write the report" becomes "open the document."

Five-Minute Deal

Start for five minutes. Permission to stop after.

Pair It With Something

Do the task with coffee, music, or a pleasant view.

Accept a Bad Start

You don't have to start well. Just start. Fix it later.

These lower the barrier — but if the pattern keeps building and the list keeps growing, it often means too much is accumulating inside. That's when it helps to get everything out first and see what's really there.

Get It All Out First

Just Open the Thing

If you're avoiding something right now, try one of these. Less than five minutes each.

Breaking through the wall once is a win — but understanding why it keeps happening is what changes the pattern. thisOne is a thinking partner that helps you explore what's underneath and find the smallest next step. Not a to-do list — a conversation that helps you move forward on what matters.

What This Really Means

Avoidance isn't a character flaw — it's information. It tells you something about what's waiting is unclear, too big, emotionally loaded, or arriving when capacity is low. Instead of fighting the delay, get curious about it. What's really in the way? Answer that, and the hard thing often becomes possible.

·