Perfect or failure. No in-between. If the workout wasn't an hour, it doesn't count. If the project isn't flawless, it's garbage. That's all or nothing thinking — and it quietly turns high standards into a reason to stop trying.
The Extremes Trap
It shows up in different ways — but the pattern underneath is always the same. One slip, and the whole thing feels ruined.
One missed day and the streak is broken, so what's the point? You restart the diet, the routine, the habit — again. Not because you failed, but because anything less than perfect feels like failure. The restart loop is exhausting, and the finish line keeps moving further away.
If you can't do it right, why begin? The essay stays unwritten. The conversation stays unhad. The idea stays in your head. It's not laziness — it's the quiet math of perfectionist thinking that says imperfect effort equals wasted effort.
Eighty percent done and it doesn't register. You finished most of it, but "most" doesn't count. The wins disappear because they aren't total wins. Meanwhile, real momentum goes unnoticed — buried under a standard that only accepts complete.
If that sounds familiar, sometimes it helps to think it through with something that listens without judging.
Why All or Nothing Wins
All or nothing thinking usually isn't random — there's a reason the mind keeps sorting everything into two boxes.
When the extremes start running the show, it can start to look a lot like black and white thinking.
When Everything Is Black and WhiteThe middle ground exists — it's just hard to see alone. Sometimes it's easier to figure it out together.
Finding the Middle Ground
The goal isn't lowering standards — it's widening what counts as progress.
Use Percentages
"About 70% done" forces nuance.
Credit Partial Wins
Something done beats nothing started.
Catch Extreme Words
Notice "always", "never", "ruined", "total".
Lower the First Bar
Start with "just show up" instead of "do it perfectly".
These shifts help — but when the pattern runs deeper, the real block is often that perfectionism takes over.
When Perfectionism Takes OverBreak the Pattern Now
If the extremes trap is running the show today, these take less than five minutes.
Quick shifts help in the moment — but if thinking in extremes keeps coming back, there's usually a pattern underneath. thisOne is a thinking partner that helps you spot it. You talk through what's on your mind, it asks the right questions, and together you find the space between perfect and failure. Not another checklist — a conversation that helps you see it clearly.
The Bigger Picture
The middle ground isn't settling — it's where real progress actually happens. Ten imperfect attempts beat one perfect attempt that never starts. Good enough, repeated, adds up to something extraordinary.